What We Can Change With the Model Minority Myth
JDT
Growing up in the 70s and 80s, I rarely saw any faces like my own on television.
So the recent and long-overdue rise of Asians and Asian Americans in entertainment has been a welcome sight to my eyes. I’ve particularly been impressed with some of the Asian comedy acts that have been blowing up, and a couple of my current favorites include Ali Wong and Russell Peters.
I recently tuned in to a special featuring up-and-coming comedian Ronny Chieng and found it downright hilarious. While he may have been raised in Malaysia, many of his jokes certainly struck a chord with me as an Asian American. One particular bit literally had me in tears, not only because it was outrageously funny but also because it was extremely sad at the same time if that makes any sense.
In the bit, he talks about something he describes as a “weird thing to have on your race”: something he initially thought as a good thing but is in truth worthy of mockery. Specifically, it's the whole aspect of how Asian parents want their kids to grow up and become doctors. He pointed out that when it comes to why this is important, helping people is pretty much on the bottom of the list - if it even makes the list at all. Instead, he quips, it’s about the money and the prestige.
I certainly laughed at the joke, but deep inside, it really resonated because there was so much truth to it. Growing up, I certainly saw it happen with other Asian American kids and families that I knew. And it wasn’t just medicine, you could apply this to other professions typically seen as honorable in Asian cultures.
When I was in high school, a selected senior of the week during the school year would get profiled in the local newspaper. These were typically students of high scholastic achievement and most of the Asian American kids that I knew in town fell into that category. In each senior profile, in addition to listing awards, GPA, college destination, etc. the student was allowed to give a personal quote, perhaps about what they wanted to pursue as a career.
As funny as this sounds, I honestly don’t remember much about my own profile, but I definitely remember one from a fellow Taiwanese-American friend. His quote about his future plans essentially read that he wanted to be either a doctor or a lawyer - because he was taught that if you’re not a doctor or a lawyer, you were the equivalent of a garbage collector. Considering his mother had quite the Tiger mom reputation, my parents and I laughed out loud when we read that as we knew exactly where that message was coming from. It was certainly funny at the time, but looking back I feel sadness and maybe some anger as well.
Granted, this is an extreme example, but it’s a travesty how much that viewpoint still exists in so many Asian American families. To me, many times it seems to scream mostly about family pride, or on the other side of the coin their shame, when Asian American kids are strictly guided on what their future should hold. Children shouldn’t be used to uplift the honor or erase the shame of the previous generation. What or where they choose to study or what career path they take isn’t just something to brag about at the next Saturday evening potluck to match up with the Wangs, the Kims, the Patels, the Nguyens, etc. - it’s like the Asian version of keeping up with the Joneses.
But sadly, what was the case with my generation of Asian Americans is a story I still hear and read about with young people today.
From some of the things that I’ve read, heard about, and even experienced myself, mental breakdowns, turning to addiction, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts are all things that have potentially resulted from this pressure. This is certainly the case for those that may try to become doctors, lawyers, etc. but are denying their own interests and passions to try and live up to these expectations placed on them. The fear exists that if they don’t follow this path that’s prescribed for them, they’ll lose the emotional and financial support from their parents. And overall the toll on their mental health is heavy.
It’s enough as it is to deal with American society and what they incorrectly think of Asian Americans with the Model Minority Myth. But when it’s exacerbated by our own culture, it simply makes it worse.
We all want what’s best for our children. So how can we change this narrative?
In my mental health journey, when dealing with many situations a tool I’ve learned to use is the serenity prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” This has often helped me immensely to re-focus on the things that I can have an effect on while letting go of the rest.
I feel that it can be applied here. While there are some things we can do to help inspire change with the Model Minority Myth in mainstream America such as speaking up, the area where we can most put our focus and make the most difference as Asian Americans is in
our own cultures and attitudes towards the Myth.
We don’t have to just go with what American society says we should go; we can choose to have the courage to take a different path.
No one is arguing that professions such as doctors, lawyers, engineers, etc. aren’t honorable and prestigious. There will always be many Asian Americans who are more than capable and willing to take on those challenges. But those aren’t the only careers that Asian Americans can achieve measures of success.
As we’ve seen especially in recent years, Asian Americans have become successful in non-traditional areas such as entertainment, politics, journalism, and athletics. Under the mainstream radar, extremely talented authors, artists, musicians, and dancers have risen to prominence in their perspective fields. And among the younger crowd, even more cutting-edge careers such as being a YouTuber have become avenues for successful Asian Americans.
These opportunities for success exist in this country today, much more so than decades ago in the era I grew up in. So as a community, we can all take pride in the accomplishments of these individuals, past, present, and future. If our own children have the opportunity and interest to forge a career in those fields, we can encourage them along the way. For them, there is nothing more comforting to know that they are loved and supported. Even if we as parents don’t initially understand, we can seek to learn more, and most importantly listen. Many times all children want is to be heard.
For those who will seek the more traditional path of becoming doctors, lawyers, engineers, etc., and have their hearts invested in doing so, we as parents can certainly encourage and empower them on the journey and the challenges they will face. But for those children who may pursue a different career journey, I’m convinced that we can support them in the same way. We can do it foremost for them, not for ourselves or anyone else.